Thursday, December 28, 2006

Losers of 2006


Well, he was right enough to win

Ok, we're doing our year end series on winners and losers


Let's start with the losers in no particular order

Karl Rove
- Once the king of Washington. Now, how's that math working for you? Rove refused to see the bleeding of the GOP as something which could actually cost them seats. When it did, Bush didn't take it too well.

George H.W. Bush
- Your family lies shattered. Your second oldest son is headed for a University presidency, your oldest son rejects your counsel like you're a doddering old man, your grandchildren suck. This was not the legacy you had in mind. At least your adopted son, Bill Clinton, isn't embarassing you.
Laura Bush- Sure people still like you, but Condi is who your husband confides in (and does god know what else with), but the three women in matching dresses? How un Jackie Kennedy could you be? Dull, uninspiring, unoriginal. Reduced to catty comments in women's magazines about your rival? Your husband forcing her on you for Thanksgiving. And your daughters? Do they have jobs yet?

Ken Blackwell-Did you really think a black wingnut could win? In Ohio? Wasn't gonna happen

Michael Steele-Mike Tyson? You think him wearing a Steele t-shirt was smart



Then you lied to your supporters on election night, claiming the race was close. It wasn't.
Which is why Sen. Cardin will be going to Washington and Bush won't hire you. They want you to shuck and jive on TV. Good luck with that, Simple Sambo. It's so nice to be proven right, so flamboyantly.

Bill Hillsman- Oh, man, those were the best fucking commercials. Funny as hell. Too bad they never directly tied Lieberman to Bush. You know, for the better part of a year, Kos defended you to the DC insiders, claiming you were blackballed because you were too clever. Well, you are, too clever by half. Your commericals were great on You Tube, but Ned Lamont should get his money back. Why? Because while you were playing cute and talking to the internet over the voters, the Menendez campaign and DSCC ran a simple ad campaign against Tom Kean, Jr. Kean=Bush.

Which is why Sen. Menendez kept his seat and your guy lost. How in the fuck could you let Lieberman say he was against the war. Crashing cars doesn'tr refute that, black and white ads don't refute that. Only tying Bush to Lieberman, which should have been as simple as tying your shoe, would have done that.

Ken Mehlman-Wow, where to begin, the black candidates, the race baiting ads, the gay GOP underground? It's so much to dealt with. But in the end, you just failed

Rahm Emmanuel- Good planning there. How many of your handpicked candidates won? Tammy Duckworth? How much money did you toss after her? Let's just say that you're lucky there was a 50 state strategy and blogs

Liddy Dole-You failed. Badly.

Lincoln Chaffee-You had to know you were going to lose, right. You could have switched parties and had that seat for life. Now, it's Sen. Whitehouse. Well, maybe they'll let you run the Smithsonian or something.

The loser of the year: George Allen

When you started out 2006, people were talking about you running for president. When it ended, you faced legal action from a law student.

What simply happened is that the truth came out. You are a racist. Not by birth, but by choice. People no longer lied for you. And the truth is, Jim Webb barely ran a race until the end. He had funding issues, personality issues, support issues. But he's Sen. Webb and you're a bum.

Why?

Macaca.

You called that boy a nigger and got caught. Simple as that. Just for filming you. You tried to be cute about it, but there was nothing cute about Macaca which translates nicely into nigger. Too bad he was born and raised in Virginia, unlike you.

And then you fucked with Mike Stark. Jesus, sending goons after him? Unlike you, he can defend himself. But he let that become an issue on the last weekend of the campaign. Are you kidding me? You let him draw you into an argument? Why?

You sir, are the loser of the year

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