What is this nonsense?

Can bachelors save damsels from abortion?

How might concerned men who are against abortion help guide seriously misled single and pregnant women? By taking one for the team and marrying them to prevent abortion, argues Denise Noe in mensNEWSdaily. These altruistic bachelors, which Noe cutely dubs "Grooms for Life," should propose marriage to prevent women from resorting to abortion. "The motif of a man proposing marriage to a woman pregnant with another man’s child is a common one on soap operas that are a fairly good gauge of female fantasy," Noe says. "These stories represent the truth that many pregnant women don’t really want to abort, and would not, if marriage and commitment were offered to them." It's a wonder that Noe doesn't also conclude that women secretly desire an evil identical twin or catastrophic wedding ceremony, since the unencumbered imaginings of Los Angeles TV writers seem her go-to source for what real-life women want and need.

If pairing these odd couples seems impractical at best, Noe says that technology is the answer: "Grooms for Life could be facilitated on a practical basis by computerized matching of pro-life single men with unmarried pregnant women interested in carrying to term." And Noe's plan is all-inclusive, suggesting that antiabortion women and married men help in the recruiting effort so that "the screaming demonstrators outside abortion clinics would soon be replaced by swains in bow ties, holding rings and serenading the pregnant women." If that isn't the sweetest darned image ever!

Clearly, there are many nits to pick here, and Noe tries preemptively to address her detractors. To skeptics who say that these arranged marriages have no chance of survival, Noe writes, "It is a peculiarly Western -- and modern -- idea that says marriage must be based on love." And as for those who argue that some wacky women will get pregnant just to land an antiabortion bachelor, Noe actually concedes that "most women are quite rational people and will realize that the number of Grooms For Life will not exceed the demand for them."

Here's the kicker: Noe writes, "Most women are pro-choice and, therefore, will have no incentive to abandon their current practice (whether celibacy, lesbianism, or contraception) in hopes of marrying a pro-lifer." And with that, I'm confused. Pro-choice women are so stuck in their celibate, lesbian or contraceptive ways that they would never seek out a pro-life bachelor? Didn't the whole argument kind of hinge on the opposite assumption? Or are pro-life women -- otherwise weakened by their singledom and lack of male support into having an abortion -- the only ones worth saving?

-- Tracy Clark-Flory

Now a post from reality land.

See, Ms. Noe needs to watch Maury. There she will see men who want nothing to do with raising other men's children. Let their girlifrend get pregnant by another man and see how quickly they walk away.

Why?

Reason one: instability. If a man gets you pregnant and refuses to be in your life, that means you might have judgement issues. You picked a loser. He could be a bum, a married loser, or one of many possible fathers. So why would a stranger buy into this trouble, and another man to deal with in raising the kids

Reason two: maturity. Most women who get abortions have sound reasons for them, revolving around the life they can give a child. It is the teenager who thinks they can raise a child under any circumstance, not the mature woman. People have every right to choose how they bring life into this world, and expecting a strange man to walk into this is, well, crazy.

Reason three: stress. It is hard enough to deal with a child in a stable marriage. My friend, who just had a perfectly healthy baby boy, is now finding out the reality of early morning feedings and crying. She and her husband are learning how to be parents one day at a time. How do you do that with someone you don't know? You have a kid and now you have to build a relationship as well? That only works on the soaps.

Reason four: the obvious. Most men do not want to raise other men's infant children. You might find the odd man who will, but in most cases, it's hard enough to get family members to take unwanted infants. This deluded woman expects single men to agree to become instant fathers, when every cultural impulse says that's a fate worth avoiding? We call it being a sucker. Let the baby's father step up and raise his child.

You want less abortion, have better contraception.

She must not talk to men much.