Sunday, December 3, 2006

Sharing your bed with a 10 year old

Jen

Too funny. This "Attachment Parenting" movement is basically no-discipline parenting. Note how grown ups are having arguments as to how to get a 10-year-old to NOT sleep in YOUR bed every night.


still sleeping in same bed at 10 years old topic posted Tue, November 28, 2006 - 5:24 PM by Mignelia maria

I am wondering when do we say it's time to move out. I have a difficult time saying no to her but sometimes need some space. She can elbow me in the head and kick me in the stomach and I feel like I need to move out. But the cuddling still keeps her in the bed.
I bougfht her a really pretty bed...but she cries when I ask her to sleep in it.
Being a single mom makes it even more difficult cuz i can't say me and daddy need some alone time. Any suggestions? Or does anyone else still sleep wth child this old???

thanks
posted by:
Mignelia maria
Austin
  • Re: still sleeping in same bed at 10 years old

    Tue, November 28, 2006 - 5:57 PM
    no personal experience myself (only child is 5 months old...) but have you tried transitioning them?
    My mom bought my lil sis/bro a child's mattress and put it on the floor next to her bed. They slept there for a while, then the mattress was moved to their room. There were always nights when one or the other would climb back in bed, bioth from the floor and from their room and i think knowing that they wouldn't be refused helped eased their fears.
    Each child's personality played a part too. My brother who was a few yrs old wanted to stay near mom much longer than his younger sis, who was thrilled at the idea of her own room and wanted to move much earlier.

Re: still sleeping in same bed at 10 years old

Tue, November 28, 2006 - 6:03 PM
I had a similar problem with my son. He's 13 now and only gave up sleeping in my bedtwo years ago (though, it wasn't every night...more like once a week) when I finally gave him the low down on how disruptive it was for both of us. Not to mention how negatively our culture views such things.

Anyway, in an effort to make him feel as comfortable as possible sleeping in his own bed EVERY night, I attempted to re-create my bed in his bedroom. My bed has a bookcase as a headboard, so I got him one as well. I've had a mosquito net around my bed for years, so I bought him one at Pier 1 and placed it around his bed. Of course, I had to *masculinize* his so his friends wouldn't give him a hard time when they came over, but in the end it worked just fine.

Now, at 13, he's moved into his oldest sister's room (after she left for college) which is in the attic and he has no problem sleeping in his own bed even though it's 2 floors away from my bedroom.

So, I'd say it's a combination of setting clear boundaries and taking baby steps to get there.

Best of luck.

Kryssa


Don't most people stop this at 5-6 years old, at the oldest?

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